Journal entry, hard times
1/30/2021 Tonight I allowed myself to acknowledge some emotions... I’m going to bed and re-reading Kris’ latest letter. Missing him. I start wishing he was here. This is hard. Keeping the house clean is hard. Feeding the family is difficult to do when things are messy and cluttered. I don’t want to cook and make a mess when there is already a mess. But when things are clean I also don’t want to make a new mess. There’s just no winning. If only Carol was here. She was so good at all of that. She would visit and help me, if she were here. I’ve been asking the girls to clean their room for days. This is how is always goes. I ask them to clean and they don’t listen. I want them to play and I don’t want them to spend their precious time crying and upset that they have to clean up. So I created systems to help with that- like only one thing out at a time. Put away barbies before you get out legos. But do they listen???!! No! Then their mess creeps out of their room to the play area then dow