Grandma Carol and the Bear
Making build a bear 1 2/8/2018
Making build a bear 2
Grandma Bear 8/30/2020
If Build-a-Bear ever finds this post they’ll probably have some good advertising material. In 2018 my Mother-in-law’s cancer was back and she was going through treatments again. Though she lived in Denver she would frequently travel to Houston, where we lived, for treatment at MD Anderson Cancer Center. It was a blessing to be able to see her so much and spend that time with her though it was a bittersweet circumstance. Pancreatic cancer is painful. The treatment is aggressive and even while in remission she suffered daily with terrible pain. She was so strong putting up with it for 5 years. Paisley was just 10 months old in the summer of 2013 when they first discovered the cancer. Bill and Carol were living abroad in Antofagasta Chile. Carol came home for a health check and then was going to travel to Spokane, WA to visit us. She never made it to Spokane. She scheduled the health check because she had lost a lot of weight, which she was really happy about at the time, but also began to get a terrible itch in her arms, hands and varrias places. Kailie was with her in Denver when she called Kris telling him how concerned she was because mom was REALLY itchy and starting to look yellow. I remember my grandpa looking yellow before he passed and urged them to go to the emergency room. I can’t imagine Kailie, young and single getting that kind of news of her mom. It’s heartbreaking. They called with the news. I packed and a few hours later baby Paisley and I flew out. At the time I was assisting our apartment complex manager with cleaning and office duties. I went to tell her about the news and let her know I would be gone. It wasn’t until she expressed her sympathies and gave me a hug that it hit me and I lost it. I cried and she hugged me. Carol was able to be seen immediately by a specialist in Denver. He was the best in the area for pancreatic cancer surgery, he was even on the cover of a medical magazine. The surgery was successful and just to make certain they got it all they recommend she follow up with chemotherapy. It was several months of strong treatment. Thankfully she didn’t lose her hair because it was targeted. But it was a long, hard and painful time. She wanted to give up but she kept going because of Paisley. She LOVED that grand baby and wanted to be here with her. Paisley was at the perfect age to comfort Carol too. Young and cuddly but also doing a lot of firsts. She took her first steps at grandmas- to grandma. Denver was Paisley’s 2nd home. A year later, August 2014 we moved to Houston for Kris’ new job at PWC. Carol’s cancer returned and they felt guided to seek treatment from MD Anderson in Houston. I know our moving to Houston was not coincidental. They had an experimental drug that she could start. The treatment worked really well for her for several years. When she passed away she was the last person on that trial and her success with it helped it move forward to become an available treatment for others.
In 2018 when her birthday was coming up I pondered over what we could give her. It took a while but I finally came up with the idea that the girls could make her a build a bear to comfort her when they couldn’t be with her. I picked out a bear with an outfit that seemed to suit Carol’s style. The girls had a lot of fun making it too! We recorded the voice message in the bear multiple times before we got it right. In the end it came out perfect. We named it cuddles so that she could hug, cuddle and love it when the girls weren’t near. Carol loved that bear and it did bring her comfort. Others would later tell me that they would hear her playing it. In her last days they would set it near her and play it for her to bring a smile to her face. I had no idea that after her passing in December 2018 what a comfort that bear would be to my girls. It’s now 2020- They call it “Grandma Bear” and it sits in a special place in their room on a little chair that was once grandma Carol’s. It reminds them of her and her love and that she is always near. 
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